Milk Is For Babies, Rum Is For Pirates
by Giovanna Farina
Summary: Shanks does not approve of his new girlfriend drinking milk. It soon becomes apparent, though, that rum is not a suitable drink for a woman. Contains two well-written fancharacters. Oneshot, flash-fic.


[A/N: I don't know of any actual study like this at all. Toni's making it up completely. Also, this was made for a friend as an art/writing trade.

Shanks belongs to Eiichiro Oda. Toni belongs to me. Takara belongs to my friend.]

oooooooooooo

"Milk, please," Toni said to Makino with a smile, ignorning her brother's glare in her general direction. The barmaid nodded and wrote it down.

"Sure thing, Toni. How about you, Takara?" Makino asked the blonde girl sitting between Shanks and Toni. She wasn't going to bother asking Shanks; he wanted rum, obviously.

"Mm, milk sounds nice. I'd like that too, I think," Takara said in a cheerful tone. Makino made a move to write it down but Shanks suddenly leaned forward.

"She means she wants rum," he said decidedly and sat back, satisfied.

Takara turned to stare at him. "Noooo, if I wanted rum, I would have said I wanted rum. I'm pretty sure what I mean is I want milk."

"Listen, no girl of mine is gonna be drinking a baby's drink," Shanks informed her with a scowl, "especially not on my bill!" Makino stood back and smiled in amusement, tapping the pen against her lip as she waited for a decision to be reached.

Takara blinked at him incredulously. "Shanks...I can't believe you! Baby's drink? Give me a break! Are we still preteens or something? Grow up and let me have my milk! Makino, get me some milk please!"

"I'm paying, you're having rum, and that's final!" Shanks slammed a fist against the counter, scowling childishly. Makino smiled pleasantly and gave Takara a questioning look.

"You're letting Toni have milk!" Takara objected.

"I got no choice, she's paying her own tab this time," he said with a frown.

Toni suddenly elbowed the older girl and winked at her discreetly. "No, Taa. Shanks is right, it's a pretty babyish drink."

"What are you up to?" Takara silently mouthed to her with a curious look, seeing the mischievous glint in the artist's eye. "Just go with it," was the equally silent response.

"...well...yeah. I...I guess it kinda is, huh."

"Damn straight," Shanks sniffed. Makino just raised an eyebrow at the three, knowing something was up.

Toni tapped her fingers on the counter, pretending to think. "Why, just the other day I read something that kind of proves how babyish it is. This article said that milk improves your body's child-bearing capabilities."

"You mean...?"

"Yup. Bigger breasts, wider hips...makes you all-around curvier, basically." She gave a casual toss of her hair and glanced at her brother to see if his attention was caught. It was.

So was Takara's, though, and she flashed Toni a grin. "So it makes you curvier, huh? How pointless."

"Yeah, basically. And I mean that's nothing you really need, right?"

"Too true, Toni, too true. I think I'm already pretty curvy." She pushed her chest forward, pretending to stretch her arms. Shanks gawked.

"You know the article also mentioned rum..." Toni said thoughtfully, tapping her lip. Takara looked at her curiously. "...apparently rum does the opposite. Kinda flattens your breasts and makes your hips more narrow."

"Hey, now that sounds useful!" Takara said with a confident nod and cupped her ample chest. "These are pretty heavy after all..." she pushed them up and let them fall back down, making sure Shanks was watching. He was, with wide eyes. Takara smirked to herself and turned back to Toni. "Geez, Toni. I'm sure glad you warned me before I went drinking that disgusting milk. Who needs more curves anyway? Now my chest can be a little lighter, less of a burden."

"No problem! It is pretty...useful information, isn't it?" Toni gave a broad grin to her friend.

"Very useful indeed." Takara barely held back a snicker before turning to the still-waiting and highly amused barmaid. "Yeah, rum please, Makino."

"What she means," Shanks spoke up suddenly, "is that she wants milk." Takara looked at him, feigning surprise.

"'No, no, Shanks! A pirate's girlfriend can't be drinking baby drinks, remember? I want rum."

Shanks slammed his hands against the counter and loudly announced, "I'M the captain, I'M paying the tab, and you want milk!"

Takara sighed loudly. "Guess I want milk then..."

"Damn straight you do," Shanks said with a nod and downed the rum Makino set in front of him with a smug look.

The barmaid then set a large, frosty mug of milk in front of both Takara and Toni as the three girls shared a smile.

Shanks was so easy to figure out.


End file.
